A dear friend, Gene, who I’ve known since the 80s in Hawaii, keeps reminding me, “We are incredibly strong yet so fragile at the same time.” I recently faced this head-on, no pun intended.
As many of you already know, I had a rather unfortunate bicycle accident.
Everyone keeps asking: “What happened?!” Truly I don’t know. More accurately I don’t remember. Most likely I slipped, no car was involved. What I experienced is waking up, as in a dream, somewhat confused. Paramedics standing over me while I noticed wet dampness emanating from the earth in Golden Gate Park. I wiped my face and felt a trickle of warm blood mixed with gravel. Upon questioning I started to recall where I was heading, but not the day of the week. I had been passed out for a while and was (and at times still am) a bit out of it.
Allow me to briefly digress:
Posturing is the curse of a yoga teacher. What I mean is pretending to be perfect: always in good health, a stellar mood and of course invulnerable. It’s so pervasive in the yoga world that you are almost encouraged to pretend this, even to yourself. It’s ultimately destructive to both the student as well as the teacher. Besides, you just can’t keep it up!
Having said that, full disclosure: I fell down, passed out and got banged up. A couple of small fractures in the orbit. That’s the anatomical word for eye socket. The doctor assured me that they will heal on their own. The fact that this doctor practices yoga herself is comforting somehow. She gave me her blessing to continue to practice, following my body’s cues.
The healing process is fascinating. During some hours of the day, I watch myself almost as an out-of-body experience. A little later I am trapped in destructive thought loops.
Waking up, I find myself aching yet movement makes things better. The stuff I’ve been preaching to others!
I have been touched deeply by the outpouring of support. Little notes from the students. Kevin (the tech guy) ready to start pre-recorded classes exactly on time. A new barista at my local coffee shop, Sam, immediately handed me a cappuccino on the house. I also received encouragements and jokes from the guys at the bike shop. Cindy continues to prepare nourishing soups, even though chewing is still a bit of a challenge.
It took me a few days to fully realize that this was pretty serious. Yet I’m also very, VERY lucky.
Our shared yoga journey continues uninterrupted with carefully curated classes for all of you. At the moment I’m exploring fluid motions on my own. They seem to help me the most. During the upcoming week we’ll have some hybrid sessions where I’m planning to join in for a little talk before and after. Perhaps a bridge into conducting luxuriously gentle, shared yoga sessions. Of course at some point we’ll get to look back and joke about the absurdity of it all.
Please take extra care of your!
Happy New Year to you and Cindy!